Ms.Bojangles...preview chapter of "The Seventh Woman"

Who is Ms. Bojangles. Ms. Bojangles is high-self esteem about body image and appearance. This chapter from the "The Seventh Woman" is about a young teenage girl going through puberty, understanding her identity, her sexuality, and womanhood. 

Ms. Bojangles use to get the nickname "bird legs" from her dad. It was a cute gesture, she thought. A girl's father has a strong impact on how young girl's view men's perspective. Always having such a loving and supportive father, Ms. Bojangles.........

Going through puberty in middle school was probably the most challenging moments as other girls were less developed than Ms. Bojangles. For example, breast was often the eye attention from most of the boys. As far as the girls, there was conversation about starting menstruation and having sex....

(chapter from "The Seventh Woman")

Now, notice I said, "having sex"..This is middle school girls talking about being sexually active. The problem with this picture is lack of parental support and education on human sexuality and puberty. Puberty can be a difficult time for many adolescents as they understand their bodies. I will point out that the time-frame for Ms. Bojangles was in the early 80's. Currently, many young girls face far more severe peer pressures..

So, what has changed from the 80's to the present..Adolescents seek more approval from friends versus self-confidence. There is more emphasis placed on looks in the media and society versus self-respect. In almost all forms of media, women are often projected as sex objects than individuals. Women come under the stereotypes to have perfect bodies, be good in bed, and cooks in the kitchen.

One of the biggest causes of low self-esteem in younger girls is the pressure of body image. Some may argue that body image of what a woman should look like comes from media portrayals. Or in most cases peer pressure or even parental influence.

There is much to say about the cosmetic industry that make billions of dollars on products and services that some women cater too. From make-up, to plastic surgeries, breast implants, butt implants, weave, wigs, and some extreme cases over tanning or bleaching of skin.

Truth is beauty has nothing to do with appearance. Beauty is your integrity and your character. This is what makes the physical appearance ATTRACTIVE. Women or younger girls should never seek their self-worth in stereotype perception of ATTRACTIVENESS. Most decent men generally fall in love with women that have an inner glow that radiates in their physical being.

Why is this important, Here are some facts based on research:

Low self esteem can be the cause or risk factor for depression

The rise of depression is steadily increasing in women more than men.

Poor body image also leads to problems with physical health that leads to inappropriate dieting and eating disorders.

Some women are in battle between their own personal culture and mainstream culture 

Negative comments, criticism, and teasing that are derived from parents are strong indicators to body dissatisfaction.

The criticism from peers concerning boy image often produces anxiety for females to be thin.

If you are a mother, a young teenage girl, a single woman, a married woman, an aunt, a sister, a grandmother...KNOW your WORTH!

The DEATH penatly

My beliefs tell me that death is only earned through wages of SIN. So, therefore regardless of what the justice system executes as DEATH. I believe DEATH is earned through self-choice over LIFE. I am a firm believer in CHOICE.

I believe every person walking the face of the earth has a choice. The only humans that are not given are infants..

Now, are there acts of crime, hatred and rage that deserves death..Well, it depends on how you look at it. For example, An intentional act of harm towards innocent parties..What does the death penalty solve? Does it bring closure to victims? Will it change the acts committed? I personally believe people who choose death are already dead. This is my meaning of "the walking dead". Yes, it is unfair, but is that not LIFE?

I believe in the SUPREME JUSTICE called a GREAT WHITE THRONE! I am not one to dare call myself a CHRISTIAN. I am a BELIEVER of the WORD. This means I believe the concept and comprehension of the GOSPEL. I understand everyone may not have this belief and that is okay. I do not fault anyone for what they choose to believe.

However, for me I believe that Jesus Christ is my savior from DEATH. So, I choose eternal LIFE and rely on his GRACE in journey lifelong path of FAITH.

So, do I believe in the DEATH Penalty? I will allow you to come with your own conclusion..

Is Abortion murder?

If someone is about to kill you and you defend yourself, as a result, assailant's life is lost. Is that considered murder? Many would say self-defense in a court of law if proven..So, what is the case for an innocent embryo that did not ask to be conceived? Is it murder?? I cannot answer this question because I am NOT GOD!

Again, I pass judgment on noone because of the extreme glass house I live in..Throwing stones is out of my league..

I personally feel the only time ABORTION is acceptable is in the case of life to the mother or child. There ectopic pregnancies that happen and terminated pregnancy is the best solution, because in most cases the baby or mother would not survive

I also feel that ABORTION rights are for both parents, with the exception of rape or incest. So, what are the primary reasons other than threat to life why many abortions occur:

Here is my question, if 25% of the reasons is affordability with raising a child, why not invest in birth control or surgical procedures to reduce or eliminate risk of conception. Then the 27%, I cannot figure out...

In cases of a rape or incest, I could never imagine being in that situation in which a young girl or woman is facing that circumstance. I personally would encourage adoption, but, I would not blame or pass judgement on anyone choosing not to have the baby...

So, again, I am noone to answer if ABORTION is murder because I am not GOD.

This is a very sensitive and controversial topic for many, especially men and woman that have lived under these circumstances...Let's learn to help people heal instead of JUDGING....

Welfare Recipients...

First of all..The intentions of this blog is not to downgrade or pass judgement on noone. I live in a glass house, so, throwing stones would not be advisable of me..

I have done research on this subject while pursuing my masters. No,  this is NOT the GOSPEL, but, perspectives on WELFARE.

I believe there are hundreds or millions of people in the world living in poverty. Poverty should never be the standard for any human living in this world. No adult or child should go without adequate food, water or shelter. Therefore, I fully support any system or program that provides relief to such crisis.

What I do not support is freeloaders! Yes, I said freeloaders. It is not fair for anyone to take advantage of a system because they can. This is no different from taking advantage of a person that is helping you. So, what do I mean by taking advantage of a system.

If a person is not disabled and has means to support themselves, they should! Here is a prime example, a young single woman attending college, working full time, living on her own cannot qualify for FOOD STAMPS because she is a full-time college student. A young unemployed single mother automatically qualifies. Now, what is the problem is this picture?...Does not everyone need to EAT.

Another example, A family that has two parents-working with children runs into a crisis were one child needs emergency surgery. So, the entire savings account, and two whole paychecks, including borrowing from 401K is contributed to this surgery. Family goes to social services to get assistance for light bill. Family is denied because they own a home in which they are paying a mortgage on.

A family of two-parents with children that only works part-time, is not able to pay rent for one month due to recent job layoff. Goes to social services to get assistance for rent. Automatically receives assistance because of low-income.

So, in both situations both families demonstrate need, yet, one is denied because they own a home, while the other gets help. Do not both families deserve help?

This is the problem I have with the welfare system. It only caters to keep certain populations of people dependent on the system. Life unseen circumstances or tragedies is not exempt from anyone of any status.

I think it is corrupt that people can support willingly single mothers who choose not to work or go to school. They have programs that even provide "free" child care services, transportation to work, and continual financial support of housing and food. And in some cases receive a great amount of child support. And in many cases, the health department provides birth control.. Now, again! This is not targeting all single mothers on welfare...I know many that are making tremendous progress and some even gotten off assistance...

I just think it is unfair to penalize a woman with no children going to college access to help. The reason why the system does not help many college students is because of the assumption that college is affordable to the affluent. If that is the case then why is there so much debt in college loans students can barely pay back. EVERYONE deserves a break!

***There are male welfare recipients as well, but, the highest population of welfare recipients are single mothers***

Insecure women versus Secure women

Insecure women are jealous, manipulating, controlling, and filled with self-hatred. Most insecure woman have unstable homes. If a insecure woman is married, she is always, always at WAR with her husband, children, friends, career, and life in generally..

If a insecure woman is single she is always at WAR with everyone and everything. Yes, she is pretty much a BITCH! Now, I do not say this in ugliness but true nature of a woman in a consistently bad mood. This has nothing to do when PMS or that time of the month. There is a difference in being in a bad mood versus being mean as HELL!

Insecure women walk around with chips on their shoulders always comparing their lives to everyone else. Insecure women have HATRED for men...Yes, HATRED...Just because one guy did her wrong every man is automatically labeled as "no good".

Many insecure women have sexual problems with themselves as well as their lovers. Insecure women never know how to relax and rest. Insecure women can come in any race, sexual orientation, religious background or disability.

Many insecure women do not know how to communicate their feelings. Instead it is called an ATTITUDE. Insecure women are never open-minded to change always finding fault in others.  Insecure women can be overweight, underweight, or gorgeous and still be miserable.. Yet, they do nothing to change how they are but give you ATTITUDE.

Insecure women do not know how to be natural or comfortable in their skin, their bodies, their self-esteem, or goals/dreams.

Secure women is what makes the world a better place! Secure women support and encourage other women. Secure women help and support their men, children, and families. Secure women are at peace with God and themselves. Secure women do not try to take on man's role. Secure women are freely liberated in their bodies, emotional nakedness, sexuality, and goals. Secure women know how to speak for themselves. Secure women have class, sex appeal, humor, honesty, and leadership skills. Secure women do not hide behind their looks or their bodies. They embrace who they are...

Secure women have healthy sex drives, good cooks, always seeking daily growth, and maintaining a positive attitude under the worst circumstances.

Secure women can come in any race, sexual orientation, religious background, or disability..

A secure woman is the most sensual being of God's creation...

What mothers should discuss with their daughters...

Mother and daughter relationships are precious and once in a lifetime. I was very close with my mother. If I could describe my relationship with my mother she was my teacher, counselor, mentor, role-model and coach. So, when my mother died 2000, you could imagine my sense of devastation and lost.

My mother died of breast cancer. She was nurse for over 30 years with hospital and private practice experience. My mother never "sugarcoated" anything with me. She always wanted me to be in truth and never live in deception. This is were my boldness comes from. My mother always taught me to trust God with anything I decided to do.

I could talk to my mother about anything...And, I do mean anything..This is way communication should be with parents and children.

Mothers should be an example of self-esteem in young girls. If you are mom in an abusive marriage or relationship. You are allowing your daughter to see how women should not be treated. It is likely, she will grow up to be an insecure women that is subject to abusive relationships.

Mothers should teach their daughters that beauty is not based on looks and body shapes. Many mothers have problems communicating on low self-esteem, appearance, weight, or sexuality. A young girl needs that comfort and guidance without any judgment or criticism. I call this is when a mom needs to be a "best friend". Yes, mothers can be best friends without dishonoring the role of "mom".

Mothers should be able to encourage career, life or educational choices..Mothers should communicate openly with their daughters about concerns, disappointments, and mistakes. Mothers should never talk or speak negatively about a girls father, whether is a part of her life or not. She should be open about the relationship, but not consistently speak negativity. Just because you may have made the wrong choice in men, is no reason to influence your daughter to negativity.

I understand not every young girl has an example of healthy relationships with their mothers. We as women in our careers and communities can always make a difference for many young girls.

Mothers should teach their daughters self-care with hygiene, hair, clothing, and budgeting. Many women grow to depend on men for financial means and pampering. This is teaching daughters that men are only good sources for financial security..

Mothers should never pressure their daughters into getting married or having children. There is nothing wrong with women that choose not to marry or have kids. There is also nothing wrong with women that do choose to marry and have kids. It is a choice, not a requirement,...

Motherhood is something I cannot wait to experience.....

Insecure Men versus Secure Men

If you are in a relationship or marriage with an insecure man, get out now why you can. An insecure man is not going to change as long as he allows doubts and fears to rule his life. Why is this dangerous? God said that man should be the leader. So, if a man is insecure not only is he weak, he will spread that negative aspect to his children, family, and community.

So, what does insecurity means? uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence. Now, this is not the same meaning as getting discouraged at times in your life. Why? Because when people are discouraged they never quit. A person that is insecure will give up and not even try.

For example, if man feels that he has to prove himself to people he already does not believe in himself. Otherwise, why seek the approval of people to feel confident about who you are. Insecure men generally attract insecure women (I will do a blog on insecure women, separately). Insecure men often try to conquer a sexual quest to prove their "manhood". Insecure men rely on the attention of females to make them feel powerful. Insecure men are jealous of other successful men. An insecure man can have money, he can be broke, he can be educated, he can be uneducated, he can be a positive leader or a negative leader. Insecure men generally do not have healthy relationships with their mothers. Insecure men can come from any race, sexual orientation, religious background, or disability. 

Insecure men can be verbal/physically abusive men that control people with the feeling of "dependency". Insecure men do not believe God is their "head". They believe their looks, sex appeal, money, or status is their "god" to self-esteem.

This is in no way male-bashing. It is simply to point out the good guys from the bad guys..So, what is a secure man...

Secure men are the determined men that will always fight for what they believe in and the ones they love. Secure men are men that struggle with imperfections that they put trust in God to fix. Secure men are NOT perfect in anyway. Secure men have the most respect and admiration for their mothers and fathers. Secure men always seek growth on a daily basis. Secure men are emotionally open, they are not afraid to cry, admit to weaknesses and struggles. They also know how to resolve a problem rather than create one. Secure men give guidance to their children, unconditional love to their spouse or partner, and hope for a better future..

Secure men can come in any race, sexual orientation, religious background, or disability.

Now, let's move on to part 2: Insecure woman versus Secure women

Spritually gifted versus Witchcraft

The ability for someone to discern knowledge about a person, place or event in the past, present or future can be the gift of prophecy. Many people are gifted with this in different forms: dreams or inspired thoughts. The purpose of the gift of prophecy is the encourage, motivate and glorify the name of GOD.

The art of controlling a person's thoughts or "brainwashing" is witchcraft. For example, every been around someone that always seems to take your energy with constant criticism, judging you, always making you feel you can never meet the standards. That is the art of manipulation which is a form or witchcraft. Noone should ever make you feel that God does not care or you are never good enough.

Jealousy is probably one of the biggest forms of witchcraft. This is when a person's actual believes and feel insecure about everything. They constantly compare themselves to everyone else instead feeling good about themselves. They constantly wish they could be somebody else, look like somebody else, or have the life of somebody else.

The only requirement concerning the gifts from GOD is FAITH! Nothing else, no financial gains, nothing you have to do, just FAITH! Just Believe...

In some cultures, the arts of Voodoo, Wicca, Satanism, or any forms of religion that involves manipulation and control only works if you BELIEVE it works. If you believe someone can bring harm to you, then they will. If you believe someone can put a curse on you, then they will. Well, the same is true for belief in the power of the HOLY SPIRIT. You always, always overcome EVIL with GOOD.

The Church of God versus Pimp Preachers

I do not believe money and religion has anything to do with each other. I do not believe that tithes is a monetary requirement. I do not believe that preachers should take salary from a church. I do not believe means to support a ministry should be to purchase expensive buildings, jets, or fancy lifestyles.

What I do believe is that money should be a means to support the poor and less fortunate. So, how do I define poor. Anyone that has a daily struggle of basic life necessities. What are basic life necessities? Good health, adequate shelter, access to good nutritional food, clean water, maintaining healthy body hygiene, and social/family support.

We live in a society were people are living on welfare, food stamps, and free housing just to keep from being homeless or without basic needs. We live in a society were everyone does not  have access to college education, a good running automobile, a decent PAYING job, or  a clean criminal record.

We live in a society were most elderly depend on social security. A society were children are abused, women are abused and many cases men are abused. We live in a society were $50 is the difference between grocery for a month versus a meal in a restaurant for one day for some people.

So, why is it that people support and give money to false men or women claiming the name of the Lord. With all these problems in everyday life, why are we not helping those that God said to help. Why is a preacher an exception to this rule. If he is truly called by God all he needs in the spirit of God.

I believe any preacher with a church congregation should have a job and support his own family. If he has abundant wealth other than means of the church he should be supporting his members or people that need help the most.

A church should be a place of multiple resources. Providing financial help, counseling, guidance, networking for education and employment, mentorship for the troubled, shelter for the homeless, etc...

If you attend a church that is racially divided, pastor lives an affluent life than all members, while you stay unemployed, in debt, or struggling...This IS NOT the house of GOD.

My black history heroes everyday...Not just one month...

My personal black history heroes..My mother and father that demonstrated to me that being intelligent and believing in yourself while trusting God will never fail. I appreciate two people that raised me to be proud of my heritage, but, yet be colorblind. My parents lived in the era of going to places were the signs displayed for "colored" and "whites only". I appreciate my parents allowing me to having exposure to diversity at an early age and not influencing me to hate people that are different. But love EVERYONE..I appreciate having two parents that worked for everything they had and leaving me a foundation of family values. I am proud to be a BLACK woman of confidence, strenght, and admiration in God's work. I am forever grateful to my precious and most valuable gifts ever given to me in life.

 

 

The "I don't need a man" Syndrome

First of all, I am gonna just put this out...This is straight BULLSHIT!

A man is needed to help a woman create a child. A man is needed to demonstrate leadership in the home, family, and society according to God's word. 

Yes, not all men fit the criteria of manhood. But for women to believe this LIE. I mean it is great there are some women totally self-dependent in careers, being single moms, being leaders in businesses and politics. I will not take that away from a woman, I support women. However, to deny that men are not part of our lives is a lie. Every woman has a father, if he was or is part of your life good or bad. He is the one chosen by GOD to reproduce with your mother. There are men that you work with, live in your neighborhood, your boyfriend, your brother, your uncle, your husband, your male friends. Women cannot live in a world were men do not exist.

Even lesbians need men...Many seek sperm donors for children, sex toys shaped like penises, etc...My point is, in every aspect a man is needed to a certain degree...

Not every man is a human scumbag, asshole, cheater, liar, douche-bag, whatever name you choose..It is not fair to put every single man in this category. So what! one loser hurt you, get over it, and embrace someone that will treat you with respect and love. There is no such thing as a perfect man or WOMAN!

If you do not prefer men romantically, that is okay too..But, don't go hating all men....

Yes, I have a high admiration for men..I was and still a Daddy's girl, I was the baby and only girl in the family, I have family of strong male-leadership, I have many brothers and male cousins I grew up with, I was always close to my uncles and oldest brothers, and I think men are one the most beautiful beings of God's creation...

Marriages from HELL...

Do you live in a marriage of convenience, prison terms, or paradise?

A marriage of convenience is simple what it means. It convenient for you to be married for financial purposes, career building, or political statues. In other words you have a direct gain that benefits your life being married, otherwise you would not be married.

A marriage of prison terms is just that. You live in an emotional/physical prison..You get up everyday with the same routine. You go to work, do the yard, feed the dog, read the newspaper, take kids to the park, and occasionally have boring sex. Nothing in this type of marriage is satisfying everything is done out of duty and obligation.

A marriage of paradise is NOT a perfect marriage. It is a marriage of growth between two willing people. You accept one another's imperfections, errors, and mistakes. A marriage of paradise is open communication, emotional nakedness, and vulnerability. It is a marriage that GOD controls and ordains.

So, what type of marriage do you have???

If you are living in a marriage of paradise.I can guarantee you it will not last. I do not care how long or how far you think things are going....Eventually that road will come to an end

....A LIE will never be FAITHFUL to you...

SEX...(Mature readers only)

You will not hear this anywhere else...

Sex is a natural part of life.....

Now, we all know that sex is often a topic of taboo or something that people are not comfortable talking about. Truth is...Sex needs to be discussed as much as possible, why? Well, here are few reasons. Sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, abortion, sexual abuse, sexual fetishes, pedophilia, masturbation, sexual lust, homosexuality, lesbianism, bi-sexuality, sexuality for the disabled, sexuality for the elderly, impotency, and sexual bondage. ( I intend to do separate blogs on these different topics)

So, let's begin with reality..Every human has a sex drive. Some are high, while others are low. Some people are comfortable with their sexuality, while some find it embarrassing or uncomfortable. Truth is many people have difficulty with their sexuality for a  number of reasons. It could due to some type of traumatic event such as rape, molestation, incest or psychological brainwashing.

Once considering a career is sex therapy.. I came to a realization that not everyone is willing to open up about their most private areas of their lives. Also, there is much preparation and training in the professional world of sex therapy when interacting with child molesters or rapists..So, it is best to either provide seminars, workshops or write books about sexuality and the problems that come with it. That way people do not feel embarrassed to seek out help or knowledge about human sexuality.

In order to experience full sexual fulfillment with a partner. 1) Both must be comfortable with one another. This means comfortable with one another's nudity and appearance. Sexual arousal first starts in the mind. So, being sexually aroused by your partner's nudity and appearance is a GOOD thing! 2) It helps to be in love with your partner. Otherwise sex with someone you do not love or care about it, is just pure self gratification. You are better off masturbating than making yourself or that person feel they are just a piece of meat! 3) There has to be chemistry between both partners. In order words two people have to feel so much in sync that they can literally read each other's thoughts. This is mind sex. You have to make love to the person's intellect, actually make one another feel as though they are the only person in your bed.

Steamy enough...Let's talk about some deep stuff...

Oral or anal sex should be something two people are comfortable with. Noone should every be forced to do anything sexually they are not comfortable doing. This works both ways for men and women. Noone should ever do things in order to please the other partner, unless you find it pleasing yourself.

Oral sex should be done delicately and sensually...Anal sex should be done in the same manner. I would consider educating yourself in a human sexuality course about sexual fetishes. It can be an eye opener...These classes teaches you the sensitivity areas of the penis and vagina. The parts of the reproductive anatomy like you would not believe. Yes, this is real sex education. Something that the public school seriously missed! If you are in college check your academic catalog, If not, I recommend searching for sex therapist online that provide information and materials that can help with understanding human sexuality. http://www.aasect.org/ ~This is a good website with tons of information, sex therapist, trained professional and literature on human sexuality.

There is so much more to sex than just a climax. If you ever find yourself feeling empty after having sex, it is likely you did not get true fulfillment and neither did your partner. Two people should always feel more close and relaxed than anything after love-making.

Sex is the highest form of intimate communication. Two people are speaking with their bodies. Sex talk is often one or both partners speaking intimately with one another while making love. Expression can be in sounds of the penis and vagina connected, language expression of partners speaking their thoughts, kissing, moaning, breathing, hugging, and touching..are all forms of sexual expression..If you lack any of these in your sex life, I would recommend talking with your partner to see what may be causing the lack of communication..

Orgasms is considered the ending phase of the sexual journey for two people. An orgasm has been described as intense or unrestrained excitement. I truly have no words to describe an orgasm, other than the best sexual gift GOD could give to humans..Every orgasm is not the same and it cannot be measured. It is something only the human body understands, yet, we cannot fully handle...An orgasm was not designed to be understood only to be enjoyed! And how great of life, is it when two people can enjoy it together! This is another reason why being a healthy sexual being is important. Two people who love and respect one another, should enjoy one another sexually with no shame or guilt.

I will do a separate blog on female sexuality and the human body...

Finally, the most important aspect of sex is to be a healthy sexual being with liberation to enjoy either yourself or your partner to the fullest capability...

To be continued....

A fake relatioinship with GOD

Let's just cut through the chase....

Just because you go to church every Sunday, put money in the collection plate, speak in tongues, and read your bible everyday is not indication of a relationship with God.

Many have a relationship with RELIGION, get so accustom to something it becomes routine, that is called a HABIT.

Going on Facebook, Twitter or other forms of social media quoting scriptures everyday is no indication you have a relationship with GOD. You have a relationship with social media.

A REAL relationship with GOD begins with knowledge you knowing you are nothing without HIM. A real relationship with GOD consist of harsh honesty with GOD. Honesty about you feel about GOD, how you feel about your life, how you feel about people..For example, it is a  commandment to love everyone. Well, honestly, no one can truly love anyone unless you know God, right? For HE is LOVE..

A REAL relationship with GOD means you fully aware of your failures, struggles, hardships, and TEMPTATIONS...You can freely admit to GOD your weaknesses..with no shame and find comfort in his GRACE

A real relationship with GOD is FREEDOM in being who HE wants you to be, which is an HONEST person. A relationship with GOD is not based on performances, routine,or competition. It's just a simple relationship any father has with his kids..

Having a relationship with GOD is one the easiest relationships you will ever have with anyone. God does require you to be perfect, He is not interested in your looks, income status or level of education. HE does not discriminate because of your race, sexual orientation, or beliefs.

A relationship with GOD is the best relationship ever...

Who is LoveTruth?

LoveTruth is as simple as the name. Loving the truth of self. So, what does that mean? Only you can determine your truth. For example, you are confident of your emotions, intellect, ability to make sound decisions, and live with no regrets...

Years ago...insecurity and doubt use to control my life in almost every aspect. It is was to the point it influenced my relationships, my choices, my happiness and freedom. Living in constant anxiety of what others would think or feel. Always "performing" to get approval...Well, those chains finally got broken.

I can recall the day I was FREE, I read the words as clear as day. "God didn't give us a spirit that is timid but one that is powerful, loving and self-controlled".. 

I guess for me it was a matter of believing this word for myself. I mean your parents, friends, and mentors can drill in your head 10 million times encouragement, but, until you believe it for you, they are just words. I would say this is the day I became a "believer" of the WORD. Let me emphasize, I did not become a "christian". I learn through "church" this is how "performances" of Christianity starts..

I mean anyone can pretend to be nice, put on a fake smile, pretend to treat people nice, and lie all day long to people... You do not have to be a brain surgeon to know that pretending is lying to yourself...

The WORD gave me light to understanding if Christ said, "I was purchased with a price", and all l need to do is believe. Then why I am concerned about what people think.

And, that was the "rebirth" of  LoveTruth....

*****IMPORTANT****** Join the Cause

LoveTruth website and books

Hello Lovers,

LoveTruth is in the process of that wonderful writing with tasty topics:

The 7th Woman
Truth Behind Closed Doors
I Won The Lottery and Bought A Man
Naked Truth

The titles is not what you think the story is about...

Open Marriages

Let's just start off this conversation with defining what an "open marriage" means. An open marriage a marriage in which both spouses allow one another to have sexual relationships with other people. Okay, let that sink in...

First, it is to each its own in how couple chooses to deal with their union. Here is my thing. There is something called STD's. If you are wanting to sleep with various people or even one person that you have no knowledge of their history, does that not increase your chances of catching an STD? I do not consider an open marriage and adultery to be the same thing. Adultery involves deception in which the spouse is not aware of a sexual or intimate relationship. In both cases, it requires both spouses to be in communication about their feelings or attractions to other people.

Let's use my marriage as an example! First, let me say my marriage is not perfect by any means. My spouse and I are two nuts that just happen to love each other and find common ground. I have an "open marriage" that does not include physical intimacy with other people. Notice I said, "physical". My marriage is open to communication of each person's feelings. So, what does that mean? It means that if either one of us are feeling that our ship is sinking, it's time to be honest with how we really feel about each other's dislikes. This can be something as simple as spending more time with one another, being more sensitive to feelings, how are we growing apart...These should be the type of open marriage communication efforts. Sure, we find other people attractive, hell, that is life, it will not stop because you are married. But neither one of us are the type of individuals to investigate one another's motives. If you are in a marriage where you have to investigate your partner's whereabouts, motives, actions, opposite sex friends, then maybe you should not be married. Relationships are based on trust and if two people are not secure the marriage will NOT last. I guarantee it...

If either me or my spouse decides we wanted to have an affair, we are going to tell one another. That is a promise we made. To be honest. My husband is aware that other men have attractions for me. I am aware that other women have attractions for him. We both find each other to be attractive people, so, why would it be a surprise for others. Some may think this is crazy, but , this is what's called friendship. Think about it, women confide to other women about men, just like men confide to other men about women. Why not confide in your spouse??? Why do spouses keep things from one another, just plain mistrust and insecurity. That is like being in a relationship with GOD and yet, you can't tell GOD how you really feel, even if you are angry with HIM. GOD already knows the truth, so why lie about it...

This is not to say we willingly want to hurt each other or destroy our marriage. But, marriage should not feel like a jailhouse to the point you cannot talk or do anything..

Some marriages just needs honesty, while some need to be annulled. 

If you married ask yourself these questions. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person? Are both of you truly content with each other's imperfections? Do you love this person unconditionally? Do you regret getting married? Are you being honest with your spouse? Are you being honest with yourself? Is my marriage a lie? Is my marriage TRUTH?

PhC. Doctor of Common Sense

My mother always told me growing up that if you lack common sense you really have nothing else. I was never one to pursue an education, I was just reared in a family that place strong emphasis on education.

Some people feel that having an educational degree can increase their chances for a career or income. Truth be told; a degree just looks good on paper. This is not to say gaining an education is not important and meaningful. It is very meaningful, but, how it changes you is what makes the difference. The statistics state that the average income with a high school diploma is $30,316..Well, I was making $35,000 working as ERS in a call center in the late 90's...Far more than what entry level teaching jobs paid. It paid more because of 6-month wage increases with yearly bonuses...It also matters what career field you enter, your family size, lifestyles, etc...

When I completed my masters last year..All I heard from family was get the doctoral, get the doctoral. I was like, why? So, I can be valued by my titles. NOT! I rather be valued by my beliefs in how God's sees me and how I treat people. Do not get me wrong, there are many people with doctoral degrees that are extremely humble and they use it order to help others. However, there is a high percentage that is pure arrogance.

I recently decided to go back to school to obtain an Ed.S. degree that is a post-doctoral of the Ed.D (Doctor of Education). I initially had no plans of going back to school. I was just looking for some classes to get certificates in. I want to work with adults pursuing their GED's, while writing my own books.

I believe for me pursuing an education is my love for writing. Most graduate programs invovle writing! I do not fit in with many of the Ed.D. or PhD. candidates and some alumni. I guess I am too down to earth and love laughing and enoying my life. I believe you can be focused, determined, and rewarding to others while being COOL as the same time.

Some people need a title to feel important, I just need GOD....

Nudity, cameras, and social media

It makes no sense at the level of insecurity in some women. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable in your body and feeling good about you. I love posing with the camera. However, have some level of class. There is a thing called private messages, emails, text messages or even webcams in which you can send photos to whomever you are talking too..

If you want to be sexy give something to leave to imagination. For a man or woman to be looking at your profile pic of the crack of your ass, breast, and crotches really can be a turn off. Also, if you work for an employer or even self-employed some may find it offensive.

I love the art of nudity that is how God made us. I think the naked body is an amazing aspect of God's concept. However, use the body to imitate life and give purpose to body image..

This is the daily attitude...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MszR0zuSJBc

I am NOT an angry black woman…

Some women blame everything on the man. NEWSFLASH not everything is always his fault. It takes two in any given relationship. Stop trying to change a man. Stop trying to control a man. Stop trying to PLAY a man. When the imperfect man that is perfect for God’s purpose comes into your life he will be a blessing. He will not get in God’s way.

Carrying around this bitterness and hatred for your brothas is not ATTRACTIVE. I never heard my mother ever bad –mouth my father in front of me. If you are a single-mom, you have God’s strength to rear that child. Realize you consciously made a choice to have unprotected sex with him. It takes two to make a baby…

Stop putting standards on education, income, and status…Start putting FAITH in GOD to send you a representation of HIM. However, if you choose to put standards up make sure you can hold your own as well.

Stop depending on a man to make you happy whether you married or single. Only God can give you true happiness. Happiness has to start with you. Otherwise, you will be one miserable old ___!