The current state of Law Enforcement

Interesting facts about law enforcement. I did a reflection post in my class last night on educational requirements for law enforcement.

Research is suggesting that most police officers should hold an associate or bachelor's degree in order to be more effective in local communities.

I DISAGREE with all of this! A degree does NOT change the heart of an individual. Other literature has some evidence of a couple of alarming factors.

1) Theory of racial threat -"assumes that citizens and authorities
perceive members of racial and ethnic minority groups as a criminal threat to the
social order" (Tittle & Curran, 1988).

2) " Racial Profiling has been recognized as a serious problem that affects many segments of our society and is especially notable in law enforcement. Governments and police services have pronounced that racial profiling is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. They have gone to great lengths in trying to eradicate racial profiling through prosecutions on the punitive side and training on the pro-active side. However, education in this area is problematic both in content and in the willingness of participants to take part in this type of training. Often people who are ordered to take these courses feel that they do not need to be told how to be sensitive to the issues" (Margolis & Shtull, 2012).

3) Here's the bomb FACT: "The general focus of police response to mental illness has been to: (a)reduce injuries or the application of force in the encounters" (Margolis & Shtull, 2012).

Now, how is that SOME police are okay with training for mental illness but not okay with racial profiling..

I am in no way against GOOD police officers. I have respect for authority that walks in TRUE authority. I am saddened at the recent deaths of the NYPD officers and all officers that lost their lives in the line of duty. HOWEVER! This does not change the facts, statistics, and cases of some law enforcement.

40 things about me...

I decided to do my own facts....

1. I have two legal birth certificates
2. As a baby I could only drink goat's milk
3. I am obsessed with a camera
4. Most people believe I was born in the town I was raised, I was not born in the town I was raised
5. I have a fetish for handbags
6. I love animals
7. I will never leave the SAMSUNG products for APPLE
8. I have a scar under my right eye that resembles a tear drop
9. The best gifts ever given to me were parents
10. I am a DADDY's girl
11. I flew on a plane by myself at the age of 10
12. I spent part of my infancy on a military base
13. I am VERY private, yet, I am doing this...
14. I have OPEN marriage to constant communication, unconditional love, and forgiveness (haha, i know what you were thinking!)
15. I am a CNN junkie
16. I met Bill Clinton
17. I met Queen Latifah
18. I met Bernie Mac
19. I met Lil Kim
20. I never went to my junior prom, senior prom only
21. I love to watch documentaries
22. I like a good psychological thriller movie
23. I once slept through a hurricane with all the windows open in a house..The whole town was flooded the next morning..
24. I plan to write my own biography
25. I love to view beauty
26. I love to shop
27. I have never traveled outside the U.S.
28. I own (PAID) a home
29. I love music of all types
30. I love to learn
31. I cannot eat red meals, like lasagna or spaghetti
32. I am a controversial speaker and I love it!
33. I value my real friends
34. I  wish everyone could be NAKED the way God intended it to be
35. I am a good dancer
36. I prefer to home-school when I have kids
37. I am a risk taker
38. I do not get along with insecure people ~ Male or Female
39. My husband thinks I could hold a political office...lol
40. I am a LOVER of Jesus

Naked in the Lord

The more I grow in FAITH; the more exciting and amazing truths about myself are revealed. I understand the meaning of personal struggles, inner demons, and weaknesses.

There is no shame before God to see my imperfections. I am grateful for HIS grace. I am redeemed. I am naked in HIM. HE sees it all. The private places of my soul. The areas in the dark no-one else can see but his LIGHT. HE sees my inner thoughts, my fears, my doubts, my vulnerabilities. HE still loves me, HE is my comforter, HE is my friend, HE is my strength, HE is GOD.

HE goes in so deep it sometimes hurts to see the willingness to ignore his unconditional love for someone not deserving of it. HE is patient with preparing me for a level of intimacy, I have never experienced. To talk to me as HE loves me in my times of frailness. I hear his whispers in my ear of never leaving me nor forsaking me.

God is not making love, HE is love....

Yours Truly,

LoveTruth

Racial Divison: Ferguson and Mike Brown

I have to say I am very disappointed and shocked at the level of immaturity about this entire Ferguson event.

First, it is alarming to know that we as a people cannot seem to embrace racial injustice in one unity. I do not agree with the separate but equal crap. This is not what Dr. Martin Luther King's legacy was about. It is alarming on both sides. To see the racism of blacks and whites in this matter. To see senseless acts of looting and vandalism in one community. To see the lack of responsibility in the leadership of the town and state.

I personally feel that Michael Brown should have been arrested if he stole items from the store. I mean come on. You cannot go in a store pushing or shoving a store owner, stealing items, and showing no sense of respect. You certainly should not be walking in the middle of the road blocking traffic. At some point, parents need to hold their kids accountability for their actions. When his mother said it was hard to get this boy to graduate from high school. That was an indication of troubled behavior. Does this mean he should have been murdered, no!

So, I am against the manner in how officer Darren Wilson handled the incident particularly when the boy was running away from him. I feel that once the boy was running away the officer could have apprehended him in any way other than shooting the boy in the head that caused his death.

It is also alarming to know that young black males are given stricter penalties for unacceptable behavior versus young white males. For example, the kid that blew his mother's brains out, then killed children in an elementary school, sparked an entire event about gun control. The movie theater event in Colorado in which a pre-med student named James Holmes, decided to get loaded with ammunition and slaughter innocent people was not shot down by the police. Instead, he got his day in court. And let us not forget the tragic events of Columbine, in which two white kids went on a killing spree in their high school. What does all these events have in common with Mike Brown~ the behavior. What is the difference, how the police respond to individuals with weapons of mass destruction versus unarmed individuals. The point is there are plenty of white kids and black kids that need guidance in their behavior, but all should be treated the same...

I think all police should receive training in racial diversity and how it relates to crime. There should more stricter requirements for law enforcement and how it serves its community.

Balancing a career and married life..

First, let me say I have been blessed in my life to have a great mother. She taught me self-respect, in-dependency and GOD as my first love. My father always said that men can go without, women need more. My mom was a nurse and my dad worked at a plant.

Growing up, we did the usual, go to church every Sunday, go on family vacations, reunions, and holiday trips. My mother and I constantly went shopping every week. My parents were not rich, but they worked hard to be able have a comfortable life and give me the best.

When I got married, my husband told me that he wants me to work if I WANT to work, not because I HAVE to work. I was not employed when I got married. So, I went back to school to get my masters to pursue my life long goals of becoming an author. I have thought about kids and balancing family life. I want to be able to do the same thing with my kids, my parents did with me.

My husband works a lot..In fact, his career is about to start acquiring even more of his time...However, we always create time for one another..Simple things like eating and talking at breakfast in the mornings, taking showers together, going out of town, shopping, etc...

This has actually worked out very well for us..Because if gives us both time apart yet together...It also gives me time to reflect my own career goals, planning a family, and keeping the house in tact.

I think if you and your spouse have an understanding and agreement on career paths things will work out. I feel some issues often arise in marriages when both parties are not in agreement on matters. This could be buying a home, having children, changing jobs, etc..At the end of the day, two spouses should always be one another's biggest supporters!!

Image and Black Perception among Others

I took a drive to McDonald's one night with my white husband. We got in the parking lot and there were about 6 to 7 police officers standing around talking...We went through the drive-thru and as we pulled off....I began to gain insight on racial profiling...

My husband works late nights and often gets off at 2am in the morning. So, I was up and we felt like going out for a drive..I was dressed in nothing but a t-shirt, capris, and a doo-rag on my head..My husband was driving and I was in the passenger seat. Now, in our local community LUCKILY everyone knows everyone on the police department. In fact, I am very proud to say that the chief of police is a black man that was my next door neighbor I grew up with. His wife is my high-school classmate and his sister is the head of the local NAACP. Plus, our town had never experienced incidents like Ferguson (NOT to say it could not happen).

Anyway, I began to reverse this and put myself in the mind of a racial profiling. What if those cops assumed I was a prostitute with a white man at 2am in the morning. (Unfortunately, our town does have a low percentages of hookers looking for drugs that are BLACK and WHITE). And interracial couples are very rare in our community. What if they had come over to our car asking questions..Would they assume that and not know I am an educated black woman with 3 degrees, a homeowner, and law-abiding taxpayer....What if this happened all because of they way I looked that night..Thank goodness my husband happens to know half of the guys on the police force and I know the chief of police personally..BUT, that is not always the case for many blacks in America.

I remember being in Minneapolis, Minnesota two weeks ago. We went to the Mall of America. We went into Macy's department store. My husband went in the men section, and I went in the women section. No-one was hardly in that section and an older white lady was behind the counter. I was looking for some dresses and wanted to try them on..I got what I wanted and left. BUT, what if I was being racially profiled and accused of shoplifting and arrested...All because I am black...They would assume that without knowing I was in Minnesota attending my graduation ceremony of my master degree and my husband and I had plenty of money to spend....However, that is not always the case for many blacks...

I do not want to myself or anyone to be profiled because of looks. Sadly, Trayvon Martin died senselessly because he LOOKED like he was "up to no good"...


The whole point of this real-life story is to get SOME white people to think about being in the other person's shoes...

The Media bias in the Black Community

Everyone hears about the unfortunate tragedies that happens in Chicago, IL, Trayvon Martin, Jordan Davis, and recently Michael Brown. The list can go on and on..However, why is it that the media only focuses on tragedies in Black America.

Now, this is not diminish the history and struggles of African-Americans or the continual battle for justice and equal rights. The only time the media shows any positive news is when it's the FIRST BLACK ______(fill in the blank). Yes, the first black president is a major accomplishment in America. However, every black family is not single parent homes, not every black boy is a troubled adolescent, not every black women is a struggling working or unemployed mom, not every black person experiences police brutality.

There ARE young black boys that graduate from high school, attend college, or work. There ARE black men successful in corporate America, retired, loyal fathers, etc...There ARE successful black single mothers that are not depending on the system, There ARE successful black women in corporate America, There ARE black women in leadership roles...And, there ARE two-parent black families...

The media never seems to balance out the black community. Just like any other racial group you have your good and your bad. If you are going to present to the media..Deliver in a way that is not biased!

Depression versus Discouragement

I would say the biggest difference between depression and discouragement is giving up..Depression has a tendency to either be short-term or long term. Discouragement is more like phases that can be brief or extended. I would say that when a person is discouraged there is still much hope, but some fears or doubts about an outcome.

Depression is a different category. When a person is depressed there is a sense of hopeless and utter despair. Depending on the nature of circumstances if depression is not treated, it is likely the individual may suffer from suicidal tendencies. Depression is like a disease that spreads throughout your emotions. It tackles on to any ounce of healthy emotions. For example, security turns into insecurities, happiness turns into sadness, motivation turns into laziness, love turns into sorrow, etc..Depression is like a dark cloud weighing on a person.

So, how does one overcome these obstacles..The first step is to rid yourself of anything in your life that is unhealthy. This could be an unbalanced relationship, marriage, job, family, or friends, transitioning of a new location, job, or family member. Often bad relationships can drain a person if the relationship consist of control, domestic violence, or betrayal. Many jobs can be stressful, however, there is normal work stress and not so normal work stress. If your job is causing mental anguish, sleepless or restless nights, constant anxiety..IT's time to find something else.. 

New life transitions like a divorce, marriage, birth of a child, adoption of a child, a new stepparent, a new neighborhood can all bring certain levels of stress some good some bad. I would say that it is a matter of adjusting to change. 

Major levels of depression is likely due to health problems or death of a loved one. I would say from personal experience for me would be the death of a loved or a terminal illness of loved one would be a major level of depression..It is in times that all social support from family, friends is vital to survival. If you do not have supportive friends or family, there are local support groups and programs to provide counseling, therapy and stability back to a sense of normalcy. Focus is the central factor to combating depression.. There is your source of being to rely on strength. IF you believe in GOD, or whatever your spiritual beliefs may be..Whatever you draw of sense of strength from should be your focus..

This is my no means an easy process but the first step to making the effort is an indication of SUCCESS!!! Be encouraged and know you are LOVED!!

Body Image and Women

Current research suggest that body image perception is related to media influence and social influence. Many eating disorders, low-self esteem, and extreme dieting is common in adolescent girls and younger women.

So, what is body image? Body image is a person’s own perception of their overall body appearance. I had the wonderful opportunity to a research project on this while pursuing a degree in undergraduate studies. Body image is most relevant during childhood. This is the main reason why children often development a negative view of body image in later adulthood. Many younger and older women have the same attitudes about their level of body dissatisfaction.  It is suggested that younger women have a greater need to want to be thin than older women. 

There are numerous factors that can contribute to this..Negative comments from family and peers, criticizing of physical appearance and traumatic events. The media has large platform in the projection of how women should look or be defined.

I have always been curious as to why some women go to extreme measures concerning their physical appearance. I have known women to make comments about having small breast, being to skinny, being to fat, wanting breast implants, butt implants, cosmetic surgery, dieting pills, etc...

It does not matter the amount of money or measures someone goes through to look a certain way..It will never cover the insecurity within the heart..

Love who you are when looking in the mirror and be secure in how you were made in God's image!!

 

Homosexuality Bashing and Christianity

I was raised in a Methodist church, not your typical Baptist or Pentecostal environment. It was not until later adult life I came to have an greater understanding of the WORD versus Christian domination's or politics in doctrine. Currently, homosexuality is viewed as the ONLY sin for IGNORANT people. Well, here is what I was taught. The bible says...We ALL have sinned and fell short the GRACE of GOD. It also states that EVERYONE will stand before GOD, and HE is the only JUDGE!

I personally do not feel just because you are heterosexual you should cast judgement on someone who is not. The bible says that God will judge according to the intentions of the HEART. So, this means to me that whatever GOD sees in your heart that is displease to him, you will be judge accordingly for it.

I personally do not have time to hate, cast judgement on anyone for whatever they do in their life right or wrong. All I can do is stay in my own lane and live the life I know that is acceptable to GOD. 

I consider myself to be an extremely affectionate woman. I love to kiss, hug, hold, snuggle you name it. I love closeness..I have been that since I was a child...I was very close to my grandmother, mother and aunts..So, women and affection has always been on an affectionate level for me..So, it is nothing for me to kiss a woman like I would my grandmother..I lay in the bed with my husband to this day, the same way I did with my grandmother and just talk..It is to me a special level of intimacy..

So, for women that have deeper affectionate levels for women that is expressed on sexual levels is known to some as lesbianism or in some cases bisexual, if the female prefer men and women. I feel that is it noone's business what someone does sexually to another person behind close doors. That is something intimate and private. I want to be respected for the person I love and I feel same-sex couples should be given the same respect.

It annoys that some people claiming to be believers in Jesus that it is their obligation to throw stones, discriminate, or harass someone that is gay. In fact, I do not consider people like that to be Christians. In fact, I personally believe that homophobia is coming from one's own personal fears of their own sexuality. I believe when you are comfortable with your sexuality as a heterosexual or homosexual. You are free in conscious to express, receive, and share the highest level of intimacy with your partner and not feel any guilt, shame, or embarrassment about it.

Another thing that should be considered in homosexuality is that not all individuals are given a choice. There are some cases in which some people's sexuality may have been violated through molestation, rape, or pedophilia. There are also some cases were people are struggling with their sexuality and not wanting to be homosexual. Then there are other cases were people are comfortable and proud to be gay. In all situations, people should be respect for their choices.

I am not here advocating gay rights or heterosexual rights...But to respect the rights of human beings and their personal choices..

Interracial Marriages and Racism

There has been much said about interracial marriages/relationships..My personal beliefs about interracial relationships is that it really should not matter about the race of a person. History shows at one point interracial marriage was illegal in the United States. Currently, the rate of interracial pairing is increasing..Statistics states that interracial marriage are subject to divorce higher than same-race couples IF they married in the late 80's..So, what does that say about interracial pairing afterwards..There is also statistics that state divorce is likely to happen in the 10th year of marriage among White/Asian wife and Black husbands. However, there is less than 50% chance of divorce among Black wife and White husbands...I personally believe that divorce could be likely for any married couple of any race when there is no common ground...

Take a look at some visuals of interracial pairings:

I am a black women that is married to a white man. We got married in 2010, I have known him for 17 years..We both dated outside our races prior to marriage. We both were raised in two-parent households and we both came up in a generation were racial barriers were not as harsh as they were during our parents' generation.

I can personally say that it truly depends on the person, their upbringing, and their exposure to diversity. I have heard many stories, myths, and stereotypes about interracial paring. And, let me go ahead and just state facts versus stereotypes:

1) Stereotype: White men treat black women better/ FACT: My father was a black man and was faithfully married to my mother for nearly 40 years until her death. I grew up in a loving environment, I never wanted for nothing and my father was a true leader in our household. Me marrying white had nothing to do with my experience with black men..I just happen to fall in love with the man of my dreams. White men has just as much flaws as a black men. Men are Men!!

2) Stereotype: White men are less endowed than Black men sexually/ FACT: White men and Black men penises all work the same way. They come in different sizes and shapes :-)

3) Stereotype: White men only want Black women as sex objects/ FACT: A man is going to be a man regardless what color he is. It is up to the woman how she allows a man to treat her.

4) Stereotype: White men only marry black women that are educated/FACT: Yes, I do have a master's degree, but when I got married I only had an associate degree while obtaining a bachelor's with no job....White men marry who they love, there is no educational or income requirement

Okay, here are some questions and comments that have been stated to me by family and friends since I been married: "It is an insult for a black women to marry a white man", "I personally feel that white men are more into black women than black men", " Why would you choose to marry a white man", " As longs as you are all happy, that is all that matters", " I love interracial couples, cant wait for you guys to have kids", "I love me some black women", " I do not do white boys", "lusting after that white dick", "Marrying outside your race is okay as long as you do not bring children into it".~~~~Most of the people that made these comments to me, are very unhappy in their lives

One thing about me is that I can totally respect how people feel about things and not be offended because my life is not based on what people think. My life is based off the God I serve..Fortunately, our families are very supportive..In fact, we often get treated like celebrities when we are out in public..Yes, we do get those looks and stares at times...It really depends on your location.. In military communities and larger cities you tend to see more diversity in families than you would in smaller communities. 

I know one couple, a black woman and white guy that planned to marry and her(black woman) parents almost disowned her..Happy to say they are happier than ever with 2 kids. I have one friend who pretty much grew up in a racist household to the point his father was a member of the KKK. He married a black woman and had three beautiful daughters..I also know people who wanted to marry outside their race but chose not too because of PEOPLE's opinions!!

Being married to someone from a different race is a blessing because you have the advantage of being in a "blended" family. But most importantly is that you are happy with the person you with... If there is someone that treats you right, respects you, supports you, have common goals and interest, and has your back..You got be pretty STUPID and RACIST not allow that person to be in your life just because their of a different race..

It boils down to be happy and not allow people to dictate who you should be with even if it is family...

All in all, at the end of the day I am very content with my life and my man!!!

Preachers of LA

After watching season 1 and watching the preshows before season 2. I must say I truly enjoy watching this show more than TBN, DAYSTAR, or INSP any day of the week... I know viewers would disagree with this show. But I see nothing wrong with showing that preachers are no different than anyone else.

I believe part of the problem is putting ministers up on pedestals like they are GODS. That is no different than worshiping a celebrity.

Hoiler than thou Syndrome

It's one thing that annoys me more than anything is CHURCH folk! Yes, this is not a vent but a concern and apparently it's been a concern of Jesus for quite some time now..Again, I will not give you scriptures or preach that is not the purpose of this blog.

In the bible I read, Jesus made it apparent that he came to seek and save the lost. Not the "know it alls"..I am sure there is someone you know in your community, family, school, or church that is HOLIER than THOU..

What does it mean to be holier than thou:

 1) Everyone is going to HELL except you

 2) You have a special HEAVEN set aside for you, by God

 3) You have never sinned a day in your life

 4) You pass judgement on anyone that does not: go to church, not married, single parent, gay, poor, etc...

 5) You are secretly a pathetic human suffering from jealously, envy, spite, and misery

If you suffer from this.....Here are some helpful tips

1) Become of believer in LOVE~ (GOD is LOVE)

2) Develop your own personal walk with GOD

3) Strive on his Grace and Mercies to be the person he created you to be..

Women Preachers

I believe women have a place in ministry but I do not believe it is to rule an entire church..Again, I will not sit here and quote bible scriptures and not assume all readers will agree with this blog. All I ask is to respect my personal point of view.

I was raised in a male-dominated family were the male figures were strong leaders. This is not to suggest that women were not strong role models. My mother is one of the most influential people in my life. Being a woman myself, obliviously I support women's rights, leadership positions, and empowerment. In fact, I would accept a female as President of the United States.

However, when it comes to a church there is a specific order I believe the bible states how the house of God should be ran. It clearly states in the NEW testament that women should minister over younger women and children. Also, a woman should not rule over a man. Now, I do not take that as some slave mentality or inferior status to a man. It is just the way I believe God design order in his house. I do not believes it gravitates to any form of discrimination or disrespect for women. I believe women were created for a unique purpose from God. Blessed to be a Woman!!

The love of money is the root of all EVIL...

Well, let me start by saying that I am not about to sit here and write a bunch of scriptures or preach by any means. This post is created from my personal viewpoint, I welcome all readers of any religion and respect differences of opinions..In other words, you do not have to agree with my views, but I do ask you respect it

From my personal experience NOT all, but most church organizations today require high maintenance from its congregates. What ever happen to the family unit of church and true Christian teaching? Why do some churches not speak on certain topics like divorce, adultery, homosexuality, murder, stealing, killing, etc...What happen to the basic knowledge of the word? Have many leaders in  the christian organizations conformed to catering to audiences that bring in the most prof$t?

What do I mean by high maintenance is exactly what it means. Constantly burdening down church members with limited income for a buck. Persistent car washes, bake sales, fish fries, and programs to raise money for building funds instead helping needy families. But most importantly, why does the preacher not have a job? Since when did it become scriptural or ethical for a minister to make financial profit off a church congregation.

My personal understanding of the bible is that Jesus died to save mankind from eternal damnation and through him by believing there is everlasting life. Lately, an altar call is done instantly after a collection offering or the healing line is based off how much "seed" ($$$) is sown... And..let's not forget the overall money-maker tithes and offering. Why is it that this means financial giving? Do churches not believe in other forms of tithes and offerings like food, shelter clothing, time, goods, etc..

But, most importantly teachings and preaching on the christian living life. I personally do not believe in judging, hating or discriminating against anyone that does not believe all things about the bible or God. However, that does not mean I will not offer or explain my beliefs when given the opportunity. So, why do churches shy away from topics of divorce, adultery, homosexuality, murder, stealing, killing, etc...I personally feel most money-making preachers are fearful of offending. So, here would be some helpful approaches on these topics...

1) If a person is in the church, a preacher's job is to speak the word in its entirety, no sugarcoating, no half truths.

2) If a person does not agree with the church teachings, they have a right to not attend the church.

3) No-one should be under any financial obligation to a church (members, visitors, etc)

4) Everyone should feel loved and welcomed in a church regardless of race, sexual orientation, or religion (Many forget that God is the only Judge)

5) If a church is able to help someone it should not require a membership, financial tithing history, or a status..Preachers should only use gifts of discernment to expose any deception. 

6) Allow God to run the ministry

Bottom line you either please God or man...Choice is yours!

Scandal TV Show~ Are black women blind to the truth?

There has been much talk about how the hit TV show Scandal has a tendency to stereotype and disrespect black women. Some feel the show is nothing more than a modern "slave" affair of another black woman with a white man. Others feel it degrades that black women are only good as sexual objects and not good enough to be "wifey" material. So, here's the truth for you...

First, Scandal is a fictional show that is NOT based on race but solely on a strong-career woman that fixes everyone's problems but has no clue how to control her personal life. She clearly has insecurities in relationships that is rooted from her parents that has caused unhealthy relationships in her adult life. She has chosen to be in adulterous relationship with a married man who happens to be president.

Secondly, the disrespect of some black women in society is rooted in poor choices in men in general. For example, a large percentage of black families do not have fathers in the homes. Many young black women are welfare recipients due no financial support from partners.

Thirdly,  some black women are delusional to thinking that white women are some type of superiority in having a faithful husband, career, kids and success.

Lastly, everything is matter of beliefs and self-esteem. Role-modeling begins in the home as with the Scandal series, Oliva's mom is a terrorist, what else more could you expect in moral judgments for her life.

Adultery

I have never understood why married people commit adultery. Seems to me the simple method would be to divorce. It is obvious if a person is not satisfied in their marriage and feels the need to see someone else. Why allow yourself or your spouse the misery. It is tiresome lying, sneaking or living a private life from your spouse.

Forms of Adultery: Emotional Affairs, Sexual Affairs, Cyber Affairs

Adultery is not always a sexual act. Adultery can be the denying your spouse the marital support that is given to someone else other than your spouse. Adultery can be the internal desire to be with someone else. So, the simple act of not physically committing adultery begins on emotional thoughts or desires first.

REASON: The reason why some spouses choose to stay in an unhappy marriage is due to one or two factors. Financial benefits or Guilt. Some may take guilt as some level of violation to their walk with God concerning the marriage vow. Others obviously married for other reasons than love, financial security. Either reason is no excuse to mislead the other person and block their ability to experience true love.

SOLUTION: Married couples should be able to have an open, no holds bar conversation about marital issues. These issue may range from finances, children, careers, sexual satisfaction, or in-laws to name a few. The key is to allow one another to express TRUE feelings and begin to process to resolve the challenges. This is called TEAM work. You never allow your partner to fail at being the best God has destined them to be. If you as a spouse do not feel this way about your spouse. Then maybe divorce is the best or only resolution to not become an obstacle in your spouses life.