Open Marriages

Let's just start off this conversation with defining what an "open marriage" means. An open marriage a marriage in which both spouses allow one another to have sexual relationships with other people. Okay, let that sink in...

First, it is to each its own in how couple chooses to deal with their union. Here is my thing. There is something called STD's. If you are wanting to sleep with various people or even one person that you have no knowledge of their history, does that not increase your chances of catching an STD? I do not consider an open marriage and adultery to be the same thing. Adultery involves deception in which the spouse is not aware of a sexual or intimate relationship. In both cases, it requires both spouses to be in communication about their feelings or attractions to other people.

Let's use my marriage as an example! First, let me say my marriage is not perfect by any means. My spouse and I are two nuts that just happen to love each other and find common ground. I have an "open marriage" that does not include physical intimacy with other people. Notice I said, "physical". My marriage is open to communication of each person's feelings. So, what does that mean? It means that if either one of us are feeling that our ship is sinking, it's time to be honest with how we really feel about each other's dislikes. This can be something as simple as spending more time with one another, being more sensitive to feelings, how are we growing apart...These should be the type of open marriage communication efforts. Sure, we find other people attractive, hell, that is life, it will not stop because you are married. But neither one of us are the type of individuals to investigate one another's motives. If you are in a marriage where you have to investigate your partner's whereabouts, motives, actions, opposite sex friends, then maybe you should not be married. Relationships are based on trust and if two people are not secure the marriage will NOT last. I guarantee it...

If either me or my spouse decides we wanted to have an affair, we are going to tell one another. That is a promise we made. To be honest. My husband is aware that other men have attractions for me. I am aware that other women have attractions for him. We both find each other to be attractive people, so, why would it be a surprise for others. Some may think this is crazy, but , this is what's called friendship. Think about it, women confide to other women about men, just like men confide to other men about women. Why not confide in your spouse??? Why do spouses keep things from one another, just plain mistrust and insecurity. That is like being in a relationship with GOD and yet, you can't tell GOD how you really feel, even if you are angry with HIM. GOD already knows the truth, so why lie about it...

This is not to say we willingly want to hurt each other or destroy our marriage. But, marriage should not feel like a jailhouse to the point you cannot talk or do anything..

Some marriages just needs honesty, while some need to be annulled. 

If you married ask yourself these questions. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person? Are both of you truly content with each other's imperfections? Do you love this person unconditionally? Do you regret getting married? Are you being honest with your spouse? Are you being honest with yourself? Is my marriage a lie? Is my marriage TRUTH?